Today on the show we speak with Dr. Jack Schafer, former FBI Special Agent, professor, psychologist and author of "The Like Switch." Jack spent fifteen years conducting counterintelligence and counterterrorism investigations, and seven years as a behavioral analyst for the FBI's National Security Division. He developed spy recruitment techniques, interrogated terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. To summarize, much of Jack's job was converting spies into allies, making them his friends, making them trust him. Today, he shares his strategies with as many people as possible so that the average person can use them in everyday situations to influence, attract and convince people.
Tune in to learn about nonverbal cues and friend cues, how to approach strangers at a party, and what you can do to diffuse a heated argument.
QUOTES:
09:39 – /"The friendship formula, basically, there are four elements in a personal relationship. The first is closeness, the second is frequency. The third is duration and the fourth is intensity ./"
09:50 – /"So to have any kind of relationship you have to have proximity because if you're in New York and I'm in Chicago and we don't know each other exists, then there's has no relationship./"
10:08 – /"The great thing about proximity is that if we simply share a space with other people, we establish mutual sympathy for that person./"
10:28 – /"You have to be around someone frequently and just being there frequently doesn't do much either, so you have to have longevity. So you have to spend time with that person ./"
10:38 – /"I think the most important thing is the intensity of that relationship. So that's the kind of glue that holds that relationship together./"
12:07 – /"The thing is, you can use this in your personal life if you are, if you have a person that you're interested in, and you can just be wherever they are. If they is at a bar or gym, just be there./"
14:16 – /"When we smile, we release endorphins and endorphins make us feel good about ourselves./"
14:23 – /"There's the golden rule of friendship, which says that if you want to be friends with someone, you have to make them feel good about themselves./"
14:57 – /"The friendship formula is very interesting because I think it's actually a scientific fact that the more time you spend with someone, the more attractive you find them./"
5:05 p.m. – "Your three big friend signals that you've surpassed are the head tilt, eyebrow flash, and smile."
Watch more episodes like this:
️ Expand your network with the 11 laws of sympathy with Michelle Lederman: https://youtu.be/LqVGPGMU4Zs
️ Activate The Like Switch with Dr. Jack Schafer: https://youtu.be/PX2o6uPtWxw
️ Build your social capital with Jordan Harbinger: https://youtu.be/XuuoAk6NDow
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